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A Lesson in Over-Egging Christmas

November 21, 2012


In a glass skyscraper building in mid-April, twenty suited and booted over-weight businessmen are sat around a table. At the head of the table sits none other than Sir Philip Green himself, who declares: “Right boys, we need them to buy more and we need them to buy now!”

Fast forward a couple of months later and all of the carefully laid plans for ‘Operation Christmas 2012′ are well underway.

It’s only now, the period where the notion of discussing Christmas is not completely ludicrous, yet still slightly previous, that my grievance has well and truly kicked in. The trigger? The sight of the elusive (or not so elusive as the case may be) Coca-Cola lorry adorned with a laughing Santa parked up beside the Angel of the North on a rainy November day. It was at this point I thought, no. No, just because I am told ‘holidays are coming’ this will not compel me to dig out a Christmas jumper and rush to the nearest shopping ‘mall’ to y’know, make a start as everything will be gone if I leave it too late.

I would like to point out at this stage that a comparison to the Grinch would be severely misplaced, hell I love sprucing up my office computer with Christmas lights! However, I want to be able to choose to participate in Christmas, not have it thrust upon me so I have to back away in the same way as I would from a person who I suspect is about to vomit.

The only explanation I can find for this massively premature approach to Christmas is that businesses need money, and they need it ASAP. In an extension of my point that I can in no way be assimilated with the Grinch, I would like to say that I do have sympathy for the businesses loosing money, having to ramp up Christmas IS one of the increasingly sparse tools they have at their disposable to draw in customers, however I don’t enjoy being subjected to the manufactured fanfare.

By all means bring out the large red lorry sparkling with its flashing bulbs, I’ll look forward to the excitement of its sighting, but please do it at a more appropriate time of the year, say, Christmas Eve?

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